As she talked I got scared. I couldn’t understand how that lovely, petite, human being could handle that much. All what happened since she was dumped by Oak Man, become a thriller, a horror story. With each word, with each event I started to understand what happened to her and all the pieces started to fall in place. I could understand the messages, I could clearly see the big words HELP, HELP ME between the lines. I sensed that things were wrong, but not that wrong. She was very open and in kind of tragic way mixed with calm in her voice she talked and talked, crying between.

The Story

She told me the story of her ex-husband, or rather still a husband. Her life with him, the lack of support of the daughter, unemployment, forcing her to work long hours and by the same trying to be with her daughter. She told me about the administrative and medical complications related to giving birth, and she told me about the day she was kicked out of the apartment altogether with her daughter and niece with the words “Get out, bitch”. She told me the story of being forced to take care of the daughter after that day with basically one suitcase in hand.

She told me the story of Giuseppe being verbally abusing her, manipulating her and somehow using her for his own needs. She was attracted to him and maybe she would stay with him, but each time she moved in she could not breath nor stay there longer then few days. She suffocated, especially since she met me on August 15^th. She was split, pushed and pulled between us two. She was confused, trying to find the best in each of us, weighting the pluses and minuses of each of us. She told me how she cheated both him and me being with me days and him nights. She told me that she walked away, but still could not be free due to the engagement ring she had and the ring was a reason for a guilt, an anchor dragging her down. She had difficulties in saying “No”, assertiveness issues, but each time the situation became worse she reached her hand for help towards me. She needed to balance the feelings to get out of that hell of Giuseppe, and she found kind of stability when being with me. She appreciated the calm aura surrounding our relation, the calm environment, which balanced the upside-down with Giuseppe. As badly she wanted to go away from him, the more persisted he was in manipulating her and putting guilt on her, trying to stop her.

Rewinding now back to the 7^th of September, when she went silent with migraine and headache. At that particular day, when she walked away from Giuseppe, she become so happy and full of hope. She was looking forward to meet me in the evening, and you remember that she never shown up and called herself prostitute the very next day. At that evening, she said, she received a phone call from Sir John, her former boss, asking her to came to his house. She told me the story of Sir John, in my opinion not much Sir, rather motherfucker, but let’s be fair. Day Zero later shown that he became a real gentleman. Obviously, Cherie, after she left Oak Man, started to date online and was approached by Sir John. After some online dating they met and developed a husband-mistress relation, where she was needed as required. On the other hand, Sir John offered her a job and actually she started to receive salary. All that happened early spring this year. She got a job, company car, she dated her boss for shorter emotional encounters, but obviously she was too hot for him to handle. Cherie is a high maintenance woman, with her needs and kinky desires. Obviously, he was looking for somebody more controllable than her. Additionally, the issue with his present wife and teenage kids, didn’t allow him to move forward. Cherie said, they never shown up in public, never had common friends. Some attraction started to build up, she said, but just short visits to his house, when maid was not present were not enough to her. So that particular day, two days ago, when she was happy, he asked her to get to him. She refused. He said “Get here now, otherwise you are finished”. She went there, the same time when she got of the radar with her messages being sparse that evening. She went to Sir motherfucker John and once again he used her for his needs. And once again she didn’t ask for help or advice on what to do at that point. She felt like a hooker, a bitch, a prostitute. Not only thorn between me and Giuseppe, but now half forced and half raped by another player.

She was talking about her actually leaving the job with Sir John’s company, due to his “request for services” attitude. So, when there was indication of lay-offs, she was the first one to walk off, of her own will. A brave, but hard decision. She showed me an agreement with her ex-husband, which forced her to withdraw from all financial alimony from her ex for the rights to see her daughter. With all this she went into financial issues, with her ex-husband not supporting her and rarely her daughter. She used to send some support back home to her family, but now with no job this would not be possible anymore.

I understood the hell she went thru. I did. I was sad and I’m still sad that she was not able to open her mouth and talk earlier. Although grateful she did at that point.

The Plan

After the tears stopped to drop down, we looked to possible solutions. We started with saying good bye to Giuseppe. In a brief text message she told him that she is walking from him definitely and she is happy with me. She asked for being left in peace. He did not respond at that time, probably the hour was late. Few minutes later we did the same with Sir John. Contrary to Giuseppe, the answers came quickly with few angry messages and disbelief. Although Sir John wouldn’t be Sir if after reflection, few hours later he came with sounder replays and even asked how he could help her, wishing her all the best in a sincere way.

We went to my hotel room, she was shaking and she was in really bad condition. At that day, which we called Day Zero, we reset our relation, promised to talk the true, nothing but the true. However, as time shows, we failed with that as well, but that night it was not important. We wanted to proceed forward and build a relation. I remember, I write some notes from that day.

As Day Zero continued, we got into connected state again. Cherie was scared with demons around. She took some drinks and relaxed. We did not make love that night. Further I had to leave early to catch my plane out of city. I asked my friend to look into her time to time and I know she had some additional glass of vodka with him. I asked her not to leave the room during the day and try to go through all the mishap. She gave me her phone in order to deal with Giuseppe when he wakes up following morning. She was not able to face his coming replies. She was so fragile that night, so tired, but a happiness on her face showed a bit later. During my travel that day, I was in touch with her on the other number and she really needed emotional support and lot of conversation to heal from the past. We had a good day.

As I now was in possession with her phone, in a way of “no more secrets” I started to talk to Giuseppe as Cherie would never do. He came with some replies in the morning with lot of “WTF” and similar disbelief messages. From love, “please”, begging to threats, hate and rejection. In between the conversation I was reading the history of that “relation” with him. I was surprised how immature he could be, with his stupid messages. Unfortunately, at some late point Cherie removed all the WhatsApp conversation with, him so I’m not able to quote it exactly nor post screenshots. In my eyes he was just a miserable asshole, not able to behave and handle that kind of woman Cherie has been. In one of topics, regarding her financial situation, when she asked for support with the loan, he said “Maybe I can sell one of my sport cars to repay your loan”. A man of culture as he used to talk about himself, he wrote to her: “I’m good body, good money, good nationality and man of culture”. Really pathetic.

I don’t know what she seen in him then and later, maybe his oratory skills, maybe his dick, maybe just the Italian way of seducing woman with empty promises. She felt into this trap so many times, prior Day Zero as well as later. I tried to explain to Giuseppe her motivation behind her decisions, still he was convinced she talked to Cherie all the time. Through all that day and following two or three days he came with different options from begging, promising, bribing, crying and putting guilt on her. I saved her from reading all this. I handled it pretty well and I had lot of fun, seeing that little boy in his short pants trying to get into her. In my cruel way of revenge, I was systematically and methodically trample and roll him down to the soil, pushing his ego back to the small rathole he came from. As a pest deserves.

I came back in the evening and she felt better. A humble person, kind of withdrawn, but full of hope. I needed to give her all the support and this was my goal. We spend all the evening talking once again about what happened and how to prevent from happening again. She needed lot of positive energy and lot of patience. I was ready and I was able to walk after her into the fire.

The following days were dedicated to Cherie’s well being. Additionally we tried to find how to get rid of Giuseppe once for all. It wasn’t easy, as he returned with his stupid messages asking for forgiveness and promising changes and reunion. However, Cherie still had his engagement ring and we were looking in the way to return it without her meeting Giuseppe. Somehow he made it easier for us, as he was asking her to meet him for “the last time” and  that could be a good occasion to drop the ring.

That day we went with some friends for the dinner and after that Cherie made appointment with him at his favorite place nearby. The plan was to send Agatha, our common friend to give Giuseppe his ring back. Agatha is a big lady who rise respect, so she was perfect choice for this task. Just after 7:30pm he arrived in one of his sports cars and even before he even left the car, Agatha approached him and asked to wind down the side window. She confirmed that he actually was Giuseppe and gave him back the ring. He was surprised, but drove away after few moments. Few minutes later he was texting Cherie and asking why she did like that? He didn’t want that ring so badly, as to see her. Anyway, our plan was successful and Giuseppe got his ring without involving Cherie, although she has seen this action from a distance.

After few days Cherie started to be less stressed and more relaxed. I still have those moments in my memory, as I could see her breath and build her self confidence. She also went for interview for a job. She was very impressed with the future lady boss. And she had impression that she liked Cherie as well. We discussed it over two days and after evaluating all pros and cons she declined the job. First, the job as personal assistant would require her to work long hours and be on the phone all the time. Additionally with my tight traveling plans each month, we could be separated too much. And on top of this the money wasn’t the best, even after negotiation, she would earn less than with Sir Johns last job. Somehow she wanted to spend more time with me during that time, and I was thankful for that.

On the 10^th day of our relations reborn, we woke up in the morning and as previous days we started to talk before breakfast. I had a still one secret left to talk about, although for me situation was very clear, time showed that this piece of information will have huge influence on our relation in the coming months. That day we were very happy, relation was blooming and I could really feel Cherie is engaged and we were connected. A really good morning.

So, I believed that after those days spend in harmony I need to get out of my mind something that was bothering me for some time now. So, I told her the story of Banana. Banana was my girlfriend back home, or rather say, a fading relation, or even no relation. I was with her for some three years and as she was also foreigner I helped her to get to my country, put her for studies at the University and moved with her into my house. The relation was good at the beginning, but after some time we were living parallel to each other with decaying sex relation and in general different view over the world. I had impression that sometimes I have to take care of another child, as she was not self sustained and needed lot of attention. At the time I met Cherie, I didn’t feel love with Banana, and moving to Sin City made me even happy to help the relation to dissolve. However when Banana was still into the relation, I was not. Meeting Cherie speeded up the process, but not in a hasty way.

That day I made a crucial mistake to tell Cherie about Banana. My intention was somehow to protect Cherie from gossip or from knowing about Banana accidentally from third party friends. I thought that she will appreciate the true and my honest way of telling her about Banana. I wanted to clean my conscious, and continue further. I expected her to understand this and continue as well.

Already this morning I realized that she didn’t swallow that piece of information, and like a bone it stuck in her throat. She became different. She even tried to call the lady boss, who offered her the job to tell her about changing her mind, willing to take the job. She started to do some irrational moves and as time shows that led to further disasters. Banana was like etched in her brain, and from the perspective I could just keep quiet about Banana and on my own dissolve the relation with her. Telling Cherie the true was a fatal mistake.

The following days ware pretty mellow, we were still trying to get to know each other closer and respond to our needs. We started to discover our commonalities and differences. As in life like in the bed. Tried to explore our limits and pleasure each other. The time was pretty great, although Banana was there around in Cherie’s mind. One day we went for a walk and were seating around the water on a stone and once again she wanted to know how I feel about Banana and how I aim to handle it. I was soon going back home and for sure i gonna meet her and stay in my house where Banana also stayed. For me the picture was very clear as the intentions. I wanted to cool down the relation and gradually phase Banana out of my life. In my own way. The problem was that Cherie wanted to rush things, she wanted me to be more firm and get her away from the picture. I knew that this would be devastating for Banana as she was much dependent of me and with only small job back home. I wanted to focus on her to get a new job and maybe consider to move out. On the other hand she stayed in the house and somehow she kept an eye on it, especially before coming winter it was a good idea to have a inhabitant in the house. So my plan was very simple and least harsh to Banana. I knew she still had feelings, but not sure how strong. Somebody of my fellow friends told me that they saw Banana with some guy at some outdoor party in my hometown. I wouldn’t expect Banana to cheat, but after being alone for some time it was possible she was looking for some friendship or new relation. Anyway, I named all this to Cherie, as I wanted to be very fair with her and the mini plan i had for Banana. She was confused, but i had impression she understood.

Around next day, she showed me a poster of the soon starting pageant contest she wanted to attend. As she is much into make up, fashion and lifestyle in general, it would be good idea to attend. I was little bit confused, as she was pretty “old” for that, but obviously this contest was directed more for older ladies than teenagers. After all, why not lets her try. She spend few days on the preparations and some organizer meetings and casting. She was qualified and then she went for some photo shutting session, which showed her in different lights, looking really great.

The lady boss called her and offered a better salary from the original offer. Cherie sent me a text saying that she wants to take the job after reconsideration and I shall be proud of her. I understood that it had to do with Banana and Cherie’s self confidence and independence. After all she didn’t want to be housewife and have an occupation. Somehow taking the job would make our relationship more difficult, as we would have less time for each other due to her duties and my irregular work time.

After few days of relative calm period and preparations for the contest, I was to head back to my hometown for a few days. I believe I left her with a good mood and involved with the pageant setup. My flight departed early morning and I arrived mid day. This was our first separation since day zero.

After landing in my hometown Cherie came with few messages regarding bank calling for the rest of the loan. As we paid half of it they still wanted have the rest. They even came with pretty good proposal of repaying full amount in 10 instalments or pay at once 75% of the amount to clear it once forever. I told her to ask them for a week hold until I get back and we discuss all the options. The second issue was the future gonna be lady boss who Cherie initially put on hold regarding the job. She tried to confirm her new proposal and accept the job, but she was not answering the phone. Cherie felt abandoned and felt she lost her chance for the position. Not sure if she really wanted the job, but not getting it put her down. The third issue was Sir John, wanting to have his car back, the blue car Cherie used for travel around the city. He was still pissed off for the fact Cherie left and still she was not sure if he is not gonna to cancel her visa.

The following day i had lot of issues in my main office back in hometown. So time went quick and Cherie got some flu and started to loose her voice. She sounded very bad when I talked to her over the phone. She even went to hospital get her injection. The main subject however were the preparations for pageant contest involving some dress creation and similar issues. However that evening she was going for some birthday party to her gay friend and she would be there during that evening. I didn’t know that guy, but just heard of him, being some kind of gay friend to Giuseppe.

At the day of the pageant she remained me the contest is today, but still she has issues with her voice. We briefly talked and she send me some pictures from rehearsals. The contest supposed to start in evening but since the last picture she sent me around 3.30PM she went silent. I tried to call her, text her all the evening and WhatsApp said she was last seen online at 7.28PM. I started to be worry, especially as I was to travel back to SinCity following morning. I tried to reach her until midnight than i felt asleep, just wake three hours later to text her again. Still no response. I was really worried. The old days of “you spend days with me and nights with him” started to flash up again. Did something happen or did she walk away again? No answers as the down started this morning.

Just before I boarded the plane i got a text message from her at 6.30AM. She said that she lost the phone at the venue and she couldn’t find it. I asked why she couldn’t use the other phone, but she said she run out of credit as it was a prepaid one. I was confused, so I called her on the video call and she accepted it, probably incidentally. For a brief moment I could see her in the car on the passenger seat, but she disconnected herself. I was astonished. What did she do in somebodies car at 6AM? where is she going. I had the impression, Giuseppe is back and she is in his claws. She said she is on the way to another event, as she gonna be a muse for a basket ball team tournament starting this morning. I never heard about that event before and her attendance. I knew that the following day, when I get back to Sin City she will have an event related to Body Painting which she is going to attend. But muse for basket ball, this early morning? Never heard about it.

I flown my first sector of the journey and landed in transit to change the plane. Had few hours for rethinking. We had a video call and she started to talk. Obviously she lost her phone as some other participants. It looked as somebody accessed the locker room and stole the phones. She also confirmed that she run out of the credit on the prepaid and recharged it just this morning. All fine, but what about the another early event and the car? As i told you earlier I can sense Cherie’s small changes and I was right this time again. Giuseppe came around, after two weeks of silence and well being, he approached again. She told me hi attended the pageant event last night and started to talk to her, as she put it, he started to poison her brain again. She said that she went home to her place that night and she slept alone, as he dropped her home, but somehow she was in his car at 6.30AM. She tried to say that he dropped her after event and now he pocked up her again. I didn’t believe that, after all I was not able to know if the car headed from her or his apartment.

She added that actually a day or two earlier, when she went to her gay friends party, Giuseppe was invited there secretly without her consent. The gay was obviously trying to get Cherie and Giuseppe into conversation that night and Giuseppe was behind that idea. It seems, it worked, as the eventually met and talked. She said that she was pissed off by his attendance, but somehow she got involved in the conversation and later Giuseppe showed up at the pageant contest and the second event. She said she is still committed, but I was not sure. She admitted that since I left, she was not staying a single night in my hotel. That added to my doubts. I was scared and disappointed. Not first neither last time. I wrote some notes on the plane that day and landed safely.

After landing, I went to the hotel. Her belongings were still there, so she didn’t left, but it felt empty. I took shower, changed clothes and with my friend Peter and his girlfriend we went for the body painting event nearby to face Giuseppe, as he supposed to be there as well. I knew him only from the pictures, but would be more than happy to meet him that night. To my disappointment, he never showed up, coward. I found Cherie around and she was different. Not the same person from the day I left Sin City five days ago. Only five days, and see how much happened. She was into the event and we couldn’t talk freely. I send her my texts from day zero and day seventeen and she had tears in her eyes while reading it. I even took a picture of her at that time. I met few of her friends and we had some brief chat. As time got late and the event was finishing, we went back to hotel and went sleep, together in one bee, but far apart.

Last two days we talked over what happened. Giuseppe knew her weak points. Her urge to get back her family, reunite with daughter and settle down. He knew she needed a job and he knew she needed financial stability. He played her well, promising all this in order to get her, to take her from me. He followed her footsteps, knowing she will be attracted to those events around. As soon he knew from his friends around, that I’m around he was hiding not willing to confront. He tried to be smart and he was smart and very persistent. She tried to get rid of the poison in her mind, but at this point she was unable. She thought she was, but she wasn’t. By that time I didn’t know anything about it.

She was convincing me about her commitment and send love messages and I believed her. We, once again started to rebuild the relation and started to get trust in each other. At that point I don’t know how much she told him about me, but obviously at some point later he knew lot about our life and he must have known this from her.

I must admit I had to be blind then. I didn’t see the small issues. Sure I sensed the small changes and I knew that that feeling wasn’t wrong. When I asked “what bothers you” she tried to give some logical answer. After all she started to get to know me as well, knowing the issues I was sensitive at and trying not to touch them. On the other hand, she realized that I didn’t have much interest in some of her events and she knew that i give her lot of free space and freedom. She was very good to snick around this, building my confidence and avoiding traps. My feelings were very mature and compared to Giuseppe’s earlier and later behavior she should have no doubts in making correct choices. But she made the errors on daily basis.

Some time later I get to know that Giuseppe was writing emails to her almost every day, poisoning her and giving her ultimatums and promising her family. She shared all of the emails far later, but back then in end of September, I didn’t know about it.
At that particular day she, send him back a long message explaining all the situation, feeling being manipulated and she end it with words: “I love you, but I love him more.”. A brave decision, that should last forever, but I definitely not a persistent one, as live shows.