Downhill drive
In the past few days our message exchange started to cool down. We became apart from each other. Not much happened, but she indicated that Sir John, the boss of the company she worked in, is about to lay-off some staff. She was among. Pitty bad experience to face, especially that she was also using the company car. We discussed here whereabouts to how to proceed after her job ceases.
Cherie was somehow happy about moving forward, being more independent and maybe to start something new on her own. Anyway, i had the feeling that things are not right. Something changed pretty drastically after that night few days ago. I was not sure if she need time or she has another thoughts. She came even with idea to move back to home country. Additionally she had second thoughts about our relation. All this made her stressed and she was full of mixed feelings at that time. I tried to uphold the conversation and to cheer her up. All in vain, she was fading away.
Another day of conversation with Giuseppe, He was very persuasive this time.
He said he booked the ticket on the 29th August, He went to jewellery shop to bought the ring, he sent a photos of the apartment where we will move in and that he will take care of me and my needs. He did all these things to convince me to be with him again.
With the guilt that I have inside, sleeping with Mr.Grey, I questioned myself? Do I deserve the ring? Do I deserve to be with him again? What if he will know I fucked someone else, will he still accept me back? Will he fly back to Sin City if I will tell him all these now? I wasn’t sure about it, but these are the thoughts running from my head.
So, I’m not gonna tell him about Mr. Grey, I’m not gonna tell him that I already sleep with someone else few days back when he dumped me. A secret that should be keep along with a guilt.
Later that afternoon, I received an email from Sir John. The company will layoff some staffs, I am not sure if I’m one of the few in the list of losing the job.
Sir John said: “Cherie, the company is in bad shape now, we didn’t have business since the last 3 months, I might remove few from my people. I know you didn’t like much the job as its doesn’t suits your interest. Probably, you might start to look for another job.
It was frustrating reading that message from my boss, I started to become more stress. Started receiving calls from the bank chasing me for my unsettled payments. Frustrated that I might lose the job, without visa. What gonna happen with me after?
I Started to think few options of how I will overcome all these, considering to move back to my home country and be with my family or to go back in former country where I had my stability. Thinking of this option might be better as I have excellent experience in retail to this country, much higher chance rate of getting hire. With these stress and burden in my shoulder, I have to make a decision.
I started to open up these issues to Giuseppe and to Mr. Grey, with the hope that maybe one of them will offer a help to get out of the situation. Giuseppe made his promise to take care of me financially once he gets back to Sin City, that he will take care of my debts from the bank, But he wants me to move in with him and take care of him while he was on process of healing his broken foot. On the other hand, Mr. Grey advise me that moving out from Sin City might not be a good idea. Where I will be in next 3 months without a job?
As Giuseppe’s date of travel is approaching, I still have the guilt in me, but somehow I have to hold on his promise to support me financially.
On the other hand, Sir John is taking advantage of the situation as he knows that my job is so important for me to survive a living. Mr. Grey’s emotional support and advice is what I appreciated the most.