She went to the contest alone, my “Maybe”, clearly became a no. I didn’t want to join the miserable spectacle. Seeing her focused on pageant last days was too much for me. House full of items, gadgets, fabrics and mess. She was sitting on the floor gluing some costume, God knows for what reason. Completely not my thing. And now to go there and see all the drunk people looking at her ass, no, save it from me. I stayed home, despite her asking me. Knowing what is going on, wiser today I would be the first one there with her, but not on November 8th, nor 15th and 22nd. Yeah, somehow when she came back from the venue, once again at 3am, the following morning I couldn’t see any prize on the table, nor happiness in her face. I asked, who wan, and she said that this has been the first contest of twelve. WTF? TWELVE? How in earth are you going to join the contest, week by week until end of January? She said the organizer didn’t tell her that before, but now as she attended the first one, she will continue. I was surprised and in my disbelieve. How will I live with a woman that is going to flash her ass for next three months, week after week. How will our relation look, when all her days will be devoted for the contest? This was heavy.
In the heat of the day, just before weekend, the deadline from bank, she did not send signed agreement to the bank. I reminded her about it midday, and by closing time, I called her again to assure she did sent all the required documents to the bank. After all, we stroke pretty good deal with them. I didn’t want now to screw it. She said, she forgot. I got mad, so mad. The only thing she had to do today was to send the papers to bank, but focused on her damn pageant she was neglecting important things. We had a big fight over the phone and maybe that’s one of the reasons, I did not join the contest. Fuck her. I was angry and I said few bad words to her.
From Psycho’s letters:
“He is preventing your real happiness! OPEN YOUR EYES!
With the excuse of the procedure of the annulment, using money, he is purchasing your life time and YOUR FREEDOM!
Com’on, look at you: You do not have your flat anymore, You do not have your privacy when you use your phone anymore, You have to find an excuse to get out, you wrote me: I do not know how to escape. He is lying about everything, also his behavior when he is with you is not his real behaviour.“
In return she said few of those as well and the things became bad, really bad. On the other hand Giuseppe was hiding nearby. Her behavior was a direct reaction of him being supportive, or rather trying to show support. Don’t be lured, psychopaths, don’t have feelings and only thing he was looking to is to get her back. A shark wanting to have his bite. And the bite was very tasty. After writing the posts of October, Cherie admitted that she already at that time started to cheat on me. There were situations, when I went for my early flight, she sneaked out of the house and went to him. When she said, she was in gym, sure she was, but in a different kind of exercises. All this behind my back, without my knowledge. She learned how to lie, and how to improve her lies. Taking pictures with friends at dinner and places, to send them later to me as an excuse “See, here I’m with, Jenny, Thelma, Shannon” or God knows who else. She was really good in developing sophisticated methods of twisting the true. And I was buying it. I remember I once named Giuseppe and referred to his silence and complete absence from our lives. She commented it nicely “Why do you have to name him, he is a history”. The hell he is.