Once again I was flying that day and was scheduled to came back around 11PM. We had good talk all the morning and afternoon. She went for lunch with Thelma and then she supposed to drive back home. She did not reach it. As the day twenty was approaching afternoon, I got a message “I had accident”. At the time she sent the message I was away from the phone for some time, so when I got back to it I saw the message. I called her and I saw her in the stretcher inside the ambulance with a collar around her neck. A tremendous picture, still etched in my brain. I called Peter, as he was living close to us, to get into the place and check what happened to Cherie. After some time he came back with information that she crashed back into another car while heavy braking on the highway. She smashed into the small truck in front of her causing damages to her self and her car only. The two other gentleman in the car in front were not injured nor was the car, as she hit the rear frame of the truck. Peter went to hospital and talked to her. She was fine, not injured, but with lot of pain and difficult to move. I asked Peter to pick me up from the airport.

We both had the feeling that Giuseppe will use this occasion to approach her and try to be nice once again? We were both right. He popped out of the blue and tried to talk to him. Some of the Cherie’s friend told him to walk away as they knew I will arrive and at that point Cherie was with me. They didn’t want to have arguing or fight in the hospital at that time. He listened and he left. Cherie admitted that she called him first directly after accident. She did not call me, nor Peter nor anybody else, but Giuseppe. Even when asked by police officer for a good man, who can confirm her identity and support her, she gave them Giuseppe’s name. Not sure it had to do with the shock post accident or the feelings and always thinking if him in first place.

The following day should be a big great day, as we finally were going to move from the hotel to new apartment. Unfortunately the accident would influence that, but sure her wellbeing was the priority, and any plans could be postponed.

I arrived to hospital shortly past 11PM. Found Cherie on the bed with collar on and the drip connected into her vain. She was tired and in pain, but otherwise fine. We had some brief talk about the accident and I tried to hold to her as much I could. She was afraid of the consequences and the legal issues, but a police officer, who visited, said as there were no injuries to another people, she would not be charged. As night passed, she was released from hospital around 3AM and we went back to hotel to spend there the last night.

The following day I grabbed all our belongings and we moved into apartment nearby. She was staying in bad and I took care of the groceries and a like. We nedee to yhe some bigger shopping, but at that time she was not able to het up from bed, so we postponed shopping until she would be fine.

Some time later I got to know that Giuseppe arrived there, mainly cause she was on the call with him just when the accident occurred. She got distracted while driving and talking ro Giuseppe. And that’s how the accident happened. With all the events from few days back at pageant contest she still was in back channels communication with Giuseppe. I was not aware of that at that point. Just few months later she shared all the emails which makes the story more complete and justified. With this tragic event today we moved into October. Another month of challenges.

Cherie recovered in a great way. Already after few days she started to walk without collar and tried to exercise the mussels around her neck. She didn’t want to spend time in bed, she needed to move around. At one afternoon we went to IKEA to grab some stuff, furniture and equipment for our new apartment. We spend pretty lot of money and finished the shopping with a fine dining of famous kötbullar or rather Swedish meatballs. We squeezed all in the car and bound for home. For sure we forgot to buy some stuff, as for next month or so we visited IKEA another few times.

During those days Cherie was worried, her period id not arrive as planned. She was already few days due and she started to research for the symptoms of pregnancy. We were discussing the issue as to who is going to be the father of the child if she indeed is pregnant. Is it me or Giuseppe. What would she do if she was pregnant. Would she walk back to Giuseppe if he was the father or stay with me independently of the fact. Not sure what was in her mind during those days.

She took the pregnancy test early in the morning and while I still was asleep. When I woke up the pregnancy tester was close to my pillow and she in very serious way said “you gonna be a daddy”. WTF, this was unexpected. Seriously did I fuck it up, the only time I blow my cum inside her some nights ago? I tried to be cautious. Well, now I have to take the consequences. How do I gonna handle all this, being over 50 and with new baby. Not easy task. Cherie has seen the consternation on my face and the brain processing behind and she outburst in a big beautiful lough. She was playing me, she got me! She showed me the “instrument” and said it scored negative. Ufffff, a kind of relief, but still no sight of period and she said she feel the boobs to be harder and release some kind of greenish liquid. She was worried.

As I know, she also informed Giuseppe about the fact and as far I know he took it very light telling her that he had fun last night with another girl, Cherie knew. In his email to her he was showing up how good he is and how the people around appreciate him. Still in his immaturity, he tries to build a guilt in Cherie and make her to be jealous for that new girl of his.

During the days past the negative pregnancy test, Cherie started to open herself. She told me more of the details of her marriage with Andriej, her husband. Yes, still husband not ex-husband. She told me that very early that she had the daughter with Andriej and despite breaking up 3 years ago she was still officially married to him. For few reasons she was not able to divorce him. First of course were the financial issues involved, which prevented her to go into legal proceedings, the other were more serious. She was not able to travel to her previous country due to bad loan and basically a travel ban. Additionally, as of her origin she was not able to get divorce in her country due to the law prohibiting it. As the first two issues were pretty easy to solve with the repayment of loan, the third one was almost “no go”.

I started to explore the subject, not being a lawyer myself, but through years spent in the business, involved in legal aspects on the daily basis, I had some experience in solving different legal issues. After a research I found that even if she is not able to get divorce to be recognized in her home country, as being married to a foreigner, she had the advantage of the husbands home country court ruling. Actually she could get the divorce in his country and later by recent Supreme Courts decision from her country, such divorce must be recognized and based on that she should became divorced. The Supreme Court ruling based on a very similar case giving her opportunity to be free from Andriej. Based on that information I set a plan and contacted a lawyer firm in Andriej’s country in order to check how to proceed. Obviously the legal procedure was pretty easy, but required several documents from her and the husband.

Now it was her turn to convince Andriej about the idea of divorcing. It wasn’t an easy task, as he immediately became suspicious about a possible scam and the proceedings were not clear to him, as he was well aware that according to Cherie’s home country law, she could not get a legal divorce. Also he was afraid of courts ruling not in his favour, asking him to pay child support and alimony. Despite Cherie’s explanations, that she will cover all expenses and she is ready to withhold from alimony, he was negative to that idea. She became nervous and stressed. As with Giuseppe, every time she got involved in the conversation with Andriej she got stressed and pissed off. I don’t know how she survived with him so many years. Seeing her in this condition, I convinced the lawyer to call Andriej and in his native language explain the setup and proceedings. After that phone call he consented to the idea and sent the lawyers the required documents. Cherie vented out.

The only thing remaining was to clear her to enter her previous country, as she needed to sign the legal documents and power of attorney in the consulate of Andriejs country.

The period was still not here. She took another test with more expensive off the shelf “instrument” and once again it proved negative. She did it exactly, as per the attached leaflet and according to the test she was not pregnant. Still relief, but still some conditions prevented her to have the period. Maybe the stress, maybe the accident, not sure. We agreed if the period will not arrive before weekend she shall visit gynecologist.

As I started to prepare and collect the documents for the lawyers, i was on the phone with Cherie while she mailed me some last missing papers, among them the legal marriage certificate. She said “there is something I have to tell you”. Oh, no, not again. When you hear such words from a woman with that rich past and recent events in memory, all possible scenarios crossed my mind, from eventually being pregnant to Giuseppe’s return. Still reading the marriage certificate I glanced through the names and legal status of the broom and bride. At Andriej’s name it stated “Single”, while at hers “Divorced”! DIVORCED. How in earth she got remarried with Andriej while she was married before? How in earth did she get the divorce when her country did not allow for divorce? Before she even opened her mouth, I just said in the phone “whoops, interesting, interesting, seems you were married before, but not only once”. She said “yes, it’s true”. This was something new. Not that it made a difference, but obviously Cherie is a woman of secrets and the question is how many more of them to came?

We met home later that afternoon and she grabbed a cup of coffee and started to tell me the story of Jesus.

We took the third test today with pregnancy tester from yet another brand. Result still negative, but no period on the horizon. She was worried and we had good reasons to visit the gynecologist after all.

Back to Jesus. Around 11 years earlier Cherie met a gentleman from Middle East and she felt in love. In big love. He was visiting her several times while still living in her home country. After a while they got married back home. The ceremony was simple and according to Muslim law with some lawyer around. Cherie said that she was not aware of actually getting married, she thought that this is a kind of legal preparation. Suddenly she became Jesus’s wife in a kind unexpected way. She did not accept the way they married as in her country wedding has to be pompous. Few months later a big wedding with lot of family around was arranged. Jesus paid all the expenses. She was happy, despite him being much older then her. She showed me the pictures from the wedding and she was even more beautiful then now with long black curly hair.

After the wedding she went do Middle East to build a life and family with Jesus. She said she really look good that guy, having face like Jesus Christ. She blindly followed and moved over there to foreign country, to different culture and different religion. She was simply in love. Being in her early twenties, she had no experience with travel and the unexpected to expect. She knew Jesus had a kid from earlier marriage. One day Jesus returned home during Ramadan and said he had some issues with his family. Cherie was confused. Next day, Jesus’s wife arrived and Cherie got to know that Jesus being married to Cherie is still married to another wife. Thanks God, or Allah, only one another wife, as to the law of his country he could have four of them. The wife and her other kids tried to find Cherie, but Jesus did not allow them to confront. He told her the true, about being married, having a relatively big family and having five kids instead of one Cherie knew about.

She was devastated by the news. Despite Jesus offering her full support, she could not understand how she got into this trap. To her defense I have to say, that being young and naïve coming from pure country, she had all the right in her inexperience to make that mistake. After all the love is blind. The wife started to threat her and pushing her away from Jesus. She told Cherie that bad things can happen and better she leaves the country. Cherie locked her up in the hotel room for few days, not walking out, nor eating. She became like a zombie, hurt and betrayed while in love. She was devastated and harm.

The events from that time still leave traces in her memory, insecurity and fear of being dumped again. What happened with Jesus has its repercussions until today, like a tsunami wave initiated thousands miles away could be sensed here and now. With each new relation, the fear for failure, for being disposed and obsolete is present. All this prevents her from getting into the relation, from involving with full heart. She is not able to grip and hold firm. She is always looking around, and she is always leaves a backdoor open. The door to escape as soon things get uncomfortable. She failed to build a family the way she had a picture of it. She wanted to have family with Jesus, Andriej and Oak Men. Later she became obsessed and felt in the trap of Giuseppe offering the same – a family. All this hunt made her blind, she was not seeing the traps nor the manipulation nor the own agenda most of man in her life had.

Even the marriage with Andriej was not real. When Cherie got pregnant she was in an unformal relation with Andriej. They were living together as a couple and the life was fine. At some point Andriej’s mother started to feel worse due to older and sickness. As a wish she wanted to see her granddaughter for the first and last time. In order to get into Europe she needed to legally became Mrs Andriej’s. In it’s simplicity and brilliant idea of the mother in law who would pass away anyway soon, Cherie became married for second time. She was able to do that as she got the divorce from Jesus. Yeah, how did she do that? According to the law of her country if wedding was proceeded accordingly to Muslim law, the local law allowed the divorce. So she was lucky enough to file for divorce with Jesus and she became free woman again. Until she married Andriej.

Jesus proved to be lying from the beginning having an active wife back in the Middle East, Oak Man played her when she went back home with another Asian girl or two. Sir John was promising to her, but still was with his wife and teenage kids, unable to offer anything then his support. Andriej once kicked her out of the apartment saying “Get out of here, bitch” and Giuseppe is next in turn to ruin her life. So how much damage must occur before she realizes that she always chooses wrong guys, not seeing the simplicity with me.

Few days later, still no period, but demons came back. We started to argue about Banana again. Cherie felt bad about it. She knows I exchange some messages with her, but despite my explanations she starts to be obsessed. I tried to say once again that I have no relation with Banana, but she insist on telling her and dump her, the same way men dumped her. I defended Banana, as I knew her for few years and there were no reasons Banana could hurt us. For sure Cherie had another impression based on her experience with nasty women and the way they treated people. Once in her urgency, she even picked up my phone when Banana called and wanted to see my reaction. All the discussions in vain as, Cherie wanted to get rid of Banana ASAP.

Word to word we started to fight over the phone exchanging stupid messages, me being fed up and telling her to walk away if she feels bad, her to being jealous with Banana. The evening ended with her saying harsh “Good Bye”. As fight for her has to continue and with my nature to stay conflict free, I dropped few messages following morning, explaining once again my intentions and encouraging her not to poison herself with Banana, as Banana was far away and our future was here. We were here and now and we shall make love not war.

I’m not sure she understood, and as time shows she did not. Banana will be around us and in her mind for long time after day 100 or more. On the other hand there was a silence regarding Giuseppe. Since hospital visit he became silent, there was no trace of him. I started to feel good with that idea, as finally once for ever he was gone. Now I know he wasn’t, he was around all the time writing her messages, poisoning her with more and more sociotechnical tricks and propaganda. A real and permanent brain washing. All the messages I was allowed to read few months later showed a picture of persisted and stubborn shark trying to bite her. Once again he used all the possible methods from begging, crying, making her guilty and jealous to threats and ultimatums. A complete study of sociopath could be made by analyzing his messages. A clinical case.

In general the atmosphere in the air was not that good. You could feel a tension and Cherie became somehow not present. I had lot of issues with the job and was travelling pretty much. One day she went to some meeting or saloon and came back late, well past midnight. By that time I was accepting her excuses, but the gaps in the communication with Giuseppe suggest she was meeting him, maybe during my absence or my travels. She slowly started to became a master of divertive actions and covering herself. I still was convinced she plays fair and I still was convinced Giuseppe went to history. Wrong. Until today I don’t know about her whereabouts at that time. Maybe one day she will share it with me.

The following days were pretty mellow, time went quick and each of us was involved in some duties. We found time to go for a dinner with bunch of friends. A guy posing to clown was making funny “sculptures” from the rubber tubes looking like colorful sausages. We got one in the shape of big red heart and somebody took a memorable picture of us two with the heads in this heart.

Following day Cherie went for some photo session at the pool for the incoming pageant contest that would run again soon. She was really into it, trying to show her off and build self-confidence by attending. After all, being judged by others was not easy. At that time at the pool we also had some private session with yet another memorable photo. As we talked some time earlier I tried to convince her to read books as she was not much into reading, so we went to some bookstore in the mall and she picked up a book by Cathy Kelly. I hope she will start to read it and enjoy.

Myself I was raised with books around. As far I remember I always was in the bookstore and even visited antique bookstores when young, looking for specific book of my area of interest. My father used to give me money for books every Saturday and I went to shop for anything of interest. I was able to read books already being five years old and by joining elementary school, I had my favorite book series and authors, among them Astrid Lindgren. The habit of reading remained until today, I still buy books and then I buy the same books for my iPad to read ofline. Some books never gets to iPad so I store them on the shelf waiting to read at some point in my life.

The lawyers sent the documents for proceeding her divorce. After few changes she sent them back. The only thing remaining was to transfer the funds for them to start the proceedings and clear her issues with loan and travel ban. So far the bank being quiet and the last offer from their side was good. Somehow in the heat of the days passing, the bank went to down in priority list.

With that time, we approached 15^th of October – our second month since we met. We had some small dinner, nothing big, hope was there and future looked bright. Giuseppe was absent and all was calm. Really? Don’t be lured. The hell would start soon. BTW, the period came, few weeks late, but finally she got it.

As we speak, the bank came back with the question, how is she going to solve the remaining outstanding loan. In an email they said they will pursue her and impose legal restrictions unless she is paying the loan in full. She talked with them, but she been soft. I said I will take it from there. Next day I called them saying I’m Cherie’s legal adviser, well somehow I was, but not in the legal way. Anyway I talked with some Indian girl which tried to tell me all the bad things will happen to Cherie when she is not going to repay the loan. I was laughing at her and said, that instead of coming with threats, she rather came with some viable proposal. I then refereed to the last one from few weeks back in order to make a deal with her of the 30%+ reduction of the amount an no interest. She said “no way” and she said she do some ridiculous discount of 5%. I said I can give her what we agreed last time and if she want’s that it’s fine. She said she will came back. 

I was traveling again next day or two and Cherie was on the move with her clothes from her old apartment to my place, or rather our place. I don’t know how she fit all the stuff in that old place as the amount of shoes and clothes was huge. Anyway, I was happy not to be involved in all this, as it would ruin my day seeing all the stuff being thrown into our place in a big mess. Somehow she methodically arranged things. She even moved the furniture around, few times in order to find a good layout. She had some art skills and exceptionally the remade apartment looked much better.

I have to admit when we moved in I hacked into the main building’s IT infrastructure, as the internet they provided was a crap. I also complained to the administrator about the speed and the bandwidth offered and wanted them to review the policy. I knew they are restricting users by limiting the speeds, so I bypassed that. After all I was studying IT and specifically, networking was not a big issue for me to solve and get here and there uninvited. Unfortunately, that day, when I was away an IT guy visited in order to review our complain and see what is wrong with our internet access. In my disbelieve Cherie told him that I switched some cables and now the internet is fine. Before I could react and tell her how to lie to him she told him the story. The guy was smart enough, replaced the cables and somehow kept silent, maybe leaving the knowledge for himself about what I did. Hi did not report it further to land lord or administrator. Any way before knowing that, I was pissed off with Cherie, to why in earth is she telling him the true when obviously we did something illegal. From word to word we went to fight over the phone and rest of the day was silent, she even didn’t want to join for lunch.