From yesterday we switched from WhatsApp to iMessages, not sure why we didn’t do that before as we both used iPhones, but somehow with Apple’s native communicator the message exchange was more rightful for me.

After the fight we got around and went to cinema to watch Will Smith in “Gemini Men”. I saw in the past the movie industry make actors to pretend to be older in some scenes, but here they went the other way, making Will younger. Incredible effect and great job. Later I seen the same good job of making Al Pacino, DeNiro and Joe Pesci younger in the latest movie of Martin Scorsese’s “Irishman”. I hope they could do the same to me, to match much younger Cherie.

She had another photo shutting around the city. The pictures were really great. She started to talk more about the upcoming pageant contest. I saw the advert and the prices were great. Knowing she is beauty she could win, but all the flashing around was not really my thing. I rather keep her beauty to myself and get her to focus on our relation than on contesting. She was very much into this and changing her mind would be impossible so I had to live with that idea.

Day by the went and basically the story would stop here, as with regular couple we had good days, mellow days and some occasional disagreements. Nothing unusual for a two people knowing each other for 2 months. So, in awaiting our first Christmas coming soon and her contest we looked forward for some good life. We talked much, did not exchange much of iMessages. Time was good. But as in bad times of war and the intelligence of diplomacy she kept back channels open. Shark was just around the corner pushing and waiting. Me completely unaware of it.

When October approached it’s end Cherie was preparing for upcoming Halloween event. She did some great make-up proposals to be used following day and she was dragging me to that Halloween party. I wasn’t fully ready, last few days were heavy at my job and I needed to spend the evening in catching up some computer job. So, she went there alone with friends. Still during that evening she was asking few times if I want to join. I did not.

Few days earlier lady from the bank was on hotline with me, still being Cherie’s advisor I said that we are able to pay the agreed amount, but she said she is not able as we did not respond in time to the first call of having that big discount. So, we agreed for some 25%+ off and she accepted it. She was to prepare the paper work to finally close the deal. However a day or two later she came with an answer that her boss did not accept the deal and we have to go back to different amount. I said, “after my dead body” and talked to her boss. I told him either he comes back with original agreement which I agreed with the Indian lady or he go fish. I literally said that “Go fish, and If you don’t accept the deal we agreed to, Cherie upon my advise will not repay a penny and you can stay with that bad bank load until end of fiscal year”. He said it’s not possible, and I said “Have a nice day” – asshole. Don’t worry he will be back few days later.

As I said, I had some issues at my work and was somehow mentally absent. Simple I did not listen to her. She was inquiring me about the issues, but I was blaming all on the job. She needed some support and focus from my side, but I was pretty bad with that at that time. She said I sound cold in my messages, but maybe I just was myself, always being a bit cold and isolated. Cherie added the warm in the relation, so what’s else is needed. I’m here for her and I support her, shall be enough, no? I believed in this by that time. Obviously wrongly, but we get wise just after we made the mistakes, not before. Just a day before Halloween she went to register herself with that pageant contest, me not being there. She said that there were finally some 16 girls and maybe two or three had some chances according to her. She was content, she is able to reach the top. The contest should go next weekend and she needed to prepare some outfit and get ready for that.

Being less supportive to Cherie this time, her communication to Giuseppe raised. They were in daily email exchange and a plan started to grow in her sick mind. She was planting an idea of build family with Giuseppe and she was pushing him towards acceptance. It took me few more weeks to get the knowledge about all this, but the story would not be consistent without knowing the state of mind of Cherie at that time. She took up all the subjects with him, including our dealings with lawyer and many other private issues. Like with the ghosts and evils coming from the mist during the Halloween day, she started to show her second face, conspiring behind my back. She became a small devil herself. A devil to last there for a good time forward.

The bank manager called me and we finally made a deal. Still he was barging, I said several time – no. Eventually he agreed to the amount I agreed with his Indian lady. She was to send the agreement and upon that I supposed to wire the money. At least that was clear.

After the Halloween and the registration she started to became colder. I don’t know if it was due my coldness towards her and as revenge she wanted to show the same attitude, but things started to be different. We had small disagreements here and there and she became tense. I’m very good at noticing it, but at that time, in my believe she is committed, I was lured that things are ok and the tension is due to my work issues, less support and her upcoming competition. On the other hand she was pointing out me being cold and missing my hugs and running in bed to the other side, instead of sleeping close to her. Somehow I felt more comfortable sleeping separated from her, as it was either to hot or to uncomfortable for me to be close to her all the time we were sleeping. She had that need, me not. That added to the misunderstandings.

Giuseppe was around the corner at that time. Still in email exchange the plan started to go in motion. As long she resisted him all October, she now started to be involved in a cold blood calculated plan. Until that registration day, all was ok, despite some issues time to time, but as she later admitted, Giuseppe was there, when she registered. Further in his sociopathic way he was one of the fundraisers and organizers of that pageant event. Basically, he created a honey pot, and he knew she will walk into the trap. He knew she is much into those things and it was a very good way to get closer to her. He could not accept her rejection of him and defending the relation with me. As much she defended us, he was pushing more. So he created the contest and she has been forced to meet him. In his sick mind he achieved what he wanted and she started to flow with that idea of creating family together with Giuseppe.

I was traveling for a short trip this morning and should be back in the evening. In the afternoon she dropped me a message “Tonight is the introduction of the glamour girls –  Its conflict now” Obviously she couldn’t pick me up from airport. She needed to be there. On the other hand she could pick me up and we could go together to the venue. Time was still there and she would make it. Later she sent few message and said “Event will start soon.. i will not be able to send you msg now”. She came home around 2:30am, me already asleep. Not unusual time for the contest to end. The following morning we looked at the pictures. Despite to heavy make-up she looked great. She said that the introduction went well and they will go to contest on coming Friday. She needed to fix some additional outfit and she will be ready. She asked if I goanna join? I said, “Maybe”, probably meaning “No, thank you”. Anyway, as I said earlier, it was not my thing, so If I could skip it, it would be great. Maybe she would understand, I’m not big fun and maybe she would focus more on us then flashing her ass around.

I needed her help with setting up some side office, and as she knew some people, I asked her to get me in touch with some friends. She recommended some company where her friend was working and tried to setup the meeting. I still had the impression that things are cold not only from my side, but from her as well. Her mind was away. I could not reach her, and I as was travelling the contact was limited. Somehow she was absent. I’m not sure if it was my fault or she just showed off. Anyway, the bad times arrived and we have been arguing more and more. I was convinced it’s about my coldness, but she became cold as well, unfocused.

Still unaware for another month or so, she was progressing the plan and getting Giuseppe into it. Seems that days of November when she secretly reunited with him were fruitful as he started to change his mind about the idea of family with Cherie. Few weeks later when I met Giuseppe, and asked why he poisoned her head with the idea of family and travelling with her back home, he was truly surprised, saying “It was her idea”. I didn’t believe it… Not by that time, no.

Last two days lot happened. First there was the pageant contest going on Saturday. Then there was a fight about bank and then finally she burst out with accusations towards me. But let’s work it step by step.

She went to the contest alone, my “Maybe”, clearly became a no. I didn’t want to join the miserable spectacle. Seeing her focused on pageant last days was too much for me. House full of items, gadgets, fabrics and mess. She was sitting on the floor gluing some costume, God knows for what reason. Completely not my thing. And now to go there and see all the drunk people looking at her ass, no, save it from me. I stayed home, despite her asking me. Knowing what is going on, wiser today I would be the first one there with her, but not on November 8th, nor 15th and 22nd. Yeah, somehow when she came back from the venue, once again at 3am, the following morning I couldn’t see any prize on the table, nor happiness in her face. I asked, who wan, and she said that this has been the first contest of twelve. WTF? TWELVE? How in earth are you going to join the contest, week by week until end of January? She said the organizer didn’t tell her that before, but now as she attended the first one, she will continue. I was surprised and in my disbelieve. How will I live with a woman that is going to flash her ass for next three months, week after week. How will our relation look, when all her days will be devoted for the contest? This was heavy.

In the heat of the day, just before weekend, the deadline from bank, she did not send signed agreement to the bank. I reminded her about it midday, and by closing time, I called her again to assure she did sent all the required documents to the bank. After all, we stroke pretty good deal with them. I didn’t want now to screw it. She said, she forgot. I got mad, so mad. The only thing she had to do today was to send the papers to bank, but focused on her damn pageant she was neglecting important things. We had a big fight over the phone and maybe that’s one of the reasons, I did not join the contest. Fuck her. I was angry and I said few bad words to her.

In return she said few of those as well and the things became bad, really bad. On the other hand Giuseppe was hiding nearby. Her behavior was a direct reaction of him being supportive, or rather trying to show support. Don’t be lured, psychopaths, don’t have feelings and only thing he was looking to is to get her back. A shark wanting to have his bite. And the bite was very tasty. After writing the posts of October, Cherie admitted that she already at that time started to cheat on me. There were situations, when I went for my early flight, she sneaked out of the house and went to him. When she said, she was in gym, sure she was, but in a different kind of exercises. All this behind my back, without my knowledge. She learned how to lie, and how to improve her lies. Taking pictures with friends at dinner and places, to send them later to me as an excuse “See, here I’m with, Jenny, Thelma, Shannon” or God knows who else. She was really good in developing sophisticated methods of twisting the true. And I was buying it. I remember I once named Giuseppe and referred to his silence and complete absence from our lives. She commented it nicely “Why do you have to name him, he is a history”. The hell he is.

As November continues and soon I have to go to my homeland, I was worried what will happen when I’m away for a week. The last two days were a disaster. We started to question ourselves in terms of relation and what we really want. After she pissed me off I was kind of withdrawn, but Cherie felt me being cold. I was not, but I was somehow tired. I came few times with a call thrown up in the air “Cherie, we need to get back this relation on track!”. She was in her own world now, focused on pageant and another weekend of the contesting. I accepted her behavior, understanding her involvement in the preparations, but with time we diverted from each other.

As usually she drove me to airport and then I went for my long flight cross the dessert, into the green land. I cached some sleep, was thinking a lot of the relation and how it gonna develop. Still unaware of Giuseppe’s being close to her I was thinking that the time I’m away, she will use for re-thinking things and get back on track to save the relation or rather to push it further into the good. What I did not know, is that she used that time to deepen the relation with Giuseppe and plan an exit point. She tried to twist things and me to believe that I was the bad guy, not kissing her and being distant. She looked into every aspect of the missing items in our relation by me being the guilty one. At some point I started to feel bad and I looked into the mirror few times by then. I couldn’t find the bad guy in the reflection. Her mental state was so disturbed by that time, and decisions taken so irrational. I could not do anything about it, at the time I landed back in my country side.

Additionally, she once again questioned my relation with Banana, as she was worried that I will visit her and the relation with Banana will bloom again. I did not have the feelings for Banana, and frankly said I felt bad that I have to see her and spend time with Banana. On the other hand, Banana was somehow hopping for the relation, but I was really cold with her and did not communicate beyond the minimum. I don’t know what was in her head. I avoided the topics and frankly said until today I did not have a conversation with Banana about how things were that time. Not that I needed it, and probably she was to proud and sorrow to talk about. What I knew, that each time Banana send a message Cherie was not comfortable with it. Cherie couldn’t accept that fact that we exchanged messages, even if they were courtesy and sometimes she send some scans of documents which arrived with post to my old place.

During the week I stayed back home, not much happened. Not from my side and not from her side, at least the official way. I was on some training and have to spend time in the main office during an audit. I visited my daughter and we had two cool days walking around the city and we did some shopping. Even Cherie wanted to get some stuff, so we bought it.

As with each audit, there is lot of stress involved. You want to present the documentation flawlessly and you don’t want to have findings. My team spend two days making the final touches and then we faced the auditors. As they represented authority, there were no jokes, no discussion, neither brief explanations. The documents shall bear the answers and somehow, we did the job, but got few remarks. As usually we did not agree to all of them, but the viewpoint depends on the position, and authorities are very difficult to argue with. All this made me more focused on the job then Cherie. I believe she understood, but our conversations during those days became sparse. She was doing her own things, I was involved in the audit and training. The 15^th November passed, and in the heat of the day, I forgot about our 3^rd month passed today. She remained me late evening and I was ashamed. Some things you shall never forget. I did.

Of course, she was nasty with her comments “How is YOUR Banana?”, although she very well known that I tried to avoid her as much I could. She was pissed of me, because I was on the phone call with Cherie and when I arrived, back home I told her I have to quit, as I reached home. That was pretty stupid of me, as I could talk with her for another hour, independently of being driving or at home. At that particular moment I was more into thinking what will Banana say seeing me talking, then what Cherie will think, when I quit our conversation.

I always believed that Cherie is more mature and have a distance to herself and live and she would understand my position. From the day I told her about Banana, my main intention was to protect Cherie from gossips and somebody telling her incidentally about Banana. I believed that she will absorb it and take that as a good gesture from my side to tell her the true. Obviously, as I already admitted, I made a mistake there, but still I was very true and had nothing to hide. My intentions for Cherie were very pure and no agenda hidden. On the other hand, her earlier experience with not always faithful men put her guard up, being very sensitive to other women surrounding the men. She did not feel comfortable with it and even scary. When she wrote a comment to “My second mistake”, she was crying and was very sad she must to relight the memories from the dark days. I understood and ask her to stop commenting if she did not want to. Anyway, back in November I did not understand her worries and was confused about her way to pinch me each time I went back home.

At the end of my visit back home, we started to plan the Christmas time. I know Cherie wanted to visit home and her daughter and family. We discussed some options and agreed that she will fly back on December 12^th and be back right after Christmas. She was happy that she would be able to go then. We would not spend the Christmas together, as I wanted to be with my daughter and rest from work as well. I did not plan to go with Cherie either. Anyway, I got her tickets and the plans were set. As she did not work presently, she was asking about sending some support back home, as even her present/ex-husband was not able to manage some money transfers to his daughter.

Following day, I went to the airport for my return journey, back to dessert. While in transit I send a short “Hello” at 11am, while she replied with “Good Morning” at 2pm. We had a conversation and once again it ended with a fight. She been buys, not talkative nor interested. Word to word, I got pissed off and she quit saying “Whatever”. In the last sentence I said, “Don’t pick me up from airport”. She arrived, while I was already on the way home with my friend Peter. At home I found some items packed in the boxes, so I questioned her if she was to move out. Don’t even remember what she replied. She arrived later from the airport and said she will sacrifice the dance lessons today, but the tension was in the air.

Today my daughter had a birthday. Cherie sent me reminder early in the morning, but I said I will call her later as she had a party long night yesterday, so she probably slept. Once again in the heat of the day I forgot to call her. I talked to her the other evening, so I felt justified and she never touched the subject, so I was happy that it went unseen, or she just been diplomatic not saying anything. Anyway, if she reads it, I will try not to miss her another birthday.

The days before that Sunday, where cold, both in terms of weather and the internal climate. She was preparing new dress every week and was talking with other attendants. It was nice to see her in the preparations, as she was really into it. One day she created a kind of military outfit, the other day a colorful dress with flowers. I was admiring it, but it ended there. I wouldn’t join the show anyhow. I expected that the pageant thing go over and we get back to our normal life. We were able to fix the big issues of her and why wouldn’t we be able to fix the future? Our sex life degraded a bit, I didn’t feel the interest and she was not pushing. I was too tired and had no mood. After all, sex, spirit and mental state is connected and when some of the items were missing, I was not able to have a good sex life. Cherie was always hot and it took just few seconds to her into sex drive, but by that time she was talking about it, but did not push it.

What I did not know by then, is Giuseppe’s support of her. As he approached her earlier, he followed that direction. I didn’t ask myself, how I she managing the pageant expenses. Obviously, Giuseppe was sponsoring her in terms of financial support for the contest and her purchase for the costumes, fabrics and gadgets needed to make up the dresses. She had skill, as her mother was a professional dressmaker, Cherie had the gift of being creative as well. Her frustration raised and she became irritated. Still it was me, who was the bad, cold guy according to her imagination of that time. Busy with daily life, I did not see all this. I did not see her being divided, nor him being around.

Still being few days from total fuck-up, the process of departure or rather demotion of the relation started and the master plan of her and Giuseppe was rolling towards destiny.